


Eternal Consequences

by FantasyBard



Category: Doctor Strange (2016)
Genre: Ancient One's Backstory, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 14:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9612776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyBard/pseuds/FantasyBard
Summary: Why did the Ancient One draw power from the Dark Dimension? Could it be that she was once as eager, as proud, as stupid, as any beginner? One terrible mistake with eternal consequences can change more than one destiny.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Why are there not more fics centered around The Ancient One? Of all the mentor-type characters which Marvel has showcased in their films, none has ever intrigued me quite so much as The Ancient One. Perhaps one of the questions which I most wanted explained was why did she even need to draw power from the Dark Dimension? She obviously didn't need it, as she was already so powerful and wise. 
> 
> But, perhaps it was never a choice she intended to make. This is sort of a character study drawn from quotes that The Ancient One had in the movie, which I feel really have multiple hidden meanings about her past, and why she chose to do the things she did. I would note that it has been awhile since I actually saw the movie in theaters, so please forgive any small errors of memory which might have occurred. Otherwise, I hope that you enjoy this little exploration into the history and the mind of The Ancient One.

 

“ _That ritual will bring you only sorrow.”_

She wished that she could say that she had performed that ritual for some noble purpose. She wished that she could have been preventing a terrible calamity or to preserve an entire race of people.

However, the truth was that she had been very young, very gifted, and very, very unwise.

Admittedly, she had had good intentions. She had thought that by truly understanding the secrets of the Dark Dimension, she could defeat it from the inside out. She had never meant to bring Dormammu through to devour the earth. Even she had never been that foolish. But when she had found the spell that allowed her peer into the Dark Dimension, to access it's power and learn to manipulate it, surely that would be simple enough.

However, like so many who suffer from pride and ego, she had misconstrued just how truly terrible and strong the power of the Dark Dimension could be. The moment she had completed the ritual, she had known that something had gone horribly wrong, or perhaps horribly right. For she got exactly what she had wanted.

She saw the Dark Dimension, the never ending blackness of a place where there was no moon, sun, or stars to break through. What light there was came only from the great roiling balls of purple, green and red energy, that seemed to suck away at the life and light of any system or planet which they touched.

The Dark Dimension was silent, and loud. Screams cut off abruptly into a small whine of hopelessness, horrible screeching coalesced into a chorus of menacing whispers. The Dark Dimension was hot as the brightest desert, and cold as the vast reaches of space. She tasted something worse than ash and rotting flesh.

But, there was something above all else which was present in the Dark Dimension: a vast stillness, a place where the very concept of time was so removed and alien, that she was not even sure how long she remained within it.

But, she still felt pain. The sensation of hurtling through a space she couldn't describe, feeling as though her limbs were being pulled apart, her skin being burned and eaten away, her very soul sucked into the void.

The worst part was that no matter how much pain she experienced, she never died. There was no death in the Dark Dimension. There was only hunger and eternity, neither of which was ever satisfied.

At the time, she didn't understand how her soul had developed a connection with the Dark Dimension. When she was awoken from the unconsciousness which the ritual had induced, she was told that she was now tied to the Dark Dimension, that she would live forever.

The prospect didn't fill her with excitement or relief, as it might have with so many people. Instead, she felt only a strange sense of foreboding, and deep shame.

She didn't know just how much Dormammu was aware of her connection to his domain. Every so often, she heard a whisper or felt an urge to give into a darker, easier path. Somehow, she was always able to resist, but she did sometimes wonder if there might be more to the consequences of the spell than even she could have thought.

* * *

 

" _We never lose our demons, we simply acquire the strength to rise above them."_

She lives on, for years, decades, centuries. The people that she cherished and loved in her early years die, while she lives on.

It's hard to not be bitter and angry. For the first few decades, she does just that, growing increasingly alone and isolated. She was reluctant to grow truly close to anyone, as they will only be gone within what feels like little more than the blink of an eye to her perception.

And what good can she do? She sees so many countless terrible futures, and each time she's able to prevent it, there’s always one more waiting behind it. At times, she feels like giving up. Mankind is lost in a never-ending cycle of destruction. Perhaps she should simply abandon the earth and it's people to their well-deserved fate.

Despair is the greatest demon she must fight, and she must fight it continually. She never truly wins against it. Yet, somehow, there is a greater force at work in her through the years. Hope is despair's greatest enemy, and hope, it turns out, is very hard to kill.

For, in every horrible calamity that threatens, there is always some act of act of bravery, some moment of selfless kindness, an unexpected display of compassion, which her gives her the strength to rise above despair, to find hope in the war she is fighting.

Eventually, as the years go by, she opens herself more. She creates a school called Kamar-Taj and she is overwhelmed by the students who come there to learn the art of sorcery at her feet. She teaches them that to embrace hope is the greatest power of all, and in doing so, finds a greater wisdom than she ever could have encountered if she had remained on her own.

She find her purpose. She will help to heal the brokenness in others, by showing them a different way. True, some of those who come to her expecting some miraculous, instantaneous healing will not be able to answer the higher call of a sorcerer's life. Yet, even those who may not be able to embrace those greater responsibilities, leave Kamar-Taj more whole and aware than when they arrived.

The students grow to become masters, and those masters become the first real friends she has allowed herself in such a long time. They are dear and close to her. She realizes how lovely it is to have friends, how wonderful to live fully in the moment, rather than dreading endless, empty years.

They still die. She still lives on. It never stops hurting. But she learns her lesson, and does not close her heart off anymore. More importantly, she never allows herself to stop hoping.

* * *

" _His eternal life is not paradise, but torment."_

It's strange the way time affects her, or rather, the ways in which it doesn't. The years flow over her, and yet, whenever she looks in the mirror, there is not a line of age upon her face. Her body still moves with the grace and agility of a young woman. Her senses are still sharp, and she rarely falls ill.

She is not necessarily ageless, though; her eyes always appear to her to be incredibly old, filled with both centuries of pain and wisdom. Even the oldest among the masters at Kamar-Taj do not have eyes such as hers'.

She doesn't really know how she came to be called the “The Ancient One.” Perhaps it was simply a joke passed around a group of novices that gradually became a title of respect. She actually laughed when she first heard it. It was rather fitting. If only they knew the entire story.

She can't remember her real name. She can barely remember what it was that made her begin to feed off the Dark Dimension in the first place. She has lost so much of herself, of her history. She has never been able to determine if that was a bad or a good thing.

She is sometimes able to ignore her doubts, to push them to the back of her mind. Sometimes, she can almost forget them. She can still laugh as easily as a child and smile wide with no hint of the pain she is never be completely free from.

But, sometimes, not even she can hide. Sometimes, she feels so very tired. So many people believe eternal life would be such a wonderful blessing. Men and women have died seeking any means by which to lengthen their lives or avoid death.

If only they knew the truth. Endless life, with no purpose or termination was a torment. It was a fate she would wish on no one, not even her worst enemy.

She often longs for some sort of release, just so she can move on to whatever lay beyond this world.

Until such a time comes, though, she will stand tall and move forward. People in the here and now depend upon her, and she will not abandon them.

* * *

_"Consider your next words, very carefully... because you might not know of that which you speak."_

She does not forbid knowledge of the Dark Dimension. Through all long life, she was discovered that forbidding such knowledge would only cause people to seek it out, and that could lead to more repetition of her mistakes.

It's good for people to have knowledge of even the dark things, so that they can know the consequences which can come if that knowledge is used in the wrong way.

However, practices are forbidden, practices that can twist the fabric of time and the laws of nature. Such barriers and rules were in place long before sorcery’s language was discovered. It was only right and proper that sorcerers should keep such rules in place.

She keeps the spells and rituals of the Dark Dimension in a single tome, the Book of Cagliostro. While other sorcerers could attempt to read the book, actually being able to perform those spells was beyond the ability of even the most advanced sorcerers.

She still felt her connection to the Dark Dimension. As strong and thrumming as the day she had first made it.

Her long life is never really questioned. There have been legends and stories of magic users who have lived for a very long time. Those who follow her accept that she must be one of them. They didn't seem to care why she's still alive or how. They just seem grateful that she is there.

She sometimes wonders how quickly that respect and reverence would last, if they knew the truth. Maybe she is a hypocrite, forbidding the very practice which has become such a part of her nature.

If she is a hypocrite, than so be it.

She would rather be called a hypocrite, than allow anyone else to suffer what she has experienced.

* * *

 

_"Death is what gives life meaning, to know our days are numbered."_

She had always known that she would die in battle. That was the only way she could have died really. However, it comes as a shock even to her when it happens.

It happens in the Mirror Dimension, by one of her former students, when all of the world is on the verge of being swallowed by the Dark Dimension.

She knows that her body doesn't have much chance. And, at the moment between life and death, she can't bear to die in a hospital room, surrounded by sterile, white light and harshly beeping machines.

Her Astral Projection isn't alone though. Her new pupil, Stephen Strange, follows her through the hallways of the hospital, pleading with her to return to her body, to not die just yet.

She finds herself smiling as the two of them look out over the dark city of New York. It's a relief, at the end, to have friend beside her. How much more painful this would have been if she had been alone.

And, how Stephen had worked his way into her heart. He had been so arrogant and stubborn when he had first come to her. But, as all the layers had slowly been peeled away, she had seen so much more. A capacity for goodness deeper than he was aware of, alongside a deep seated fear of failure. Beyond even that, she has seen a great future, one of greatness.

She tries to convey all of this to him in the limited time that she has left. She knows that this is a bad time to leave him, because there is such a big challenge ahead of him.

Ironically, she finds herself wishing that she could have held on a little bit longer, if only to see how Stephen would overcome it.

This was her final moment, she had never been able to see past it. She feels a great many things. She's strangely sad that it's all over, that the journey of her life really has come to an end.

She is relieved. She sees so many possibilities in Stephen's future. If he can defeat Kaecilius and Dormammu, she will be leaving the earth in good hands.

But, there is also peace and beauty in this final moment. In the end, despite the eternal consequences which she had been paying all her life, she has led a full life. And even now, she is experiencing a strange sense of lightness. Is the darkness which has weighed her down for so many years finally lifting? Is this what it felt like to be free once more? She had forgotten what it felt like. 

Oh, how she wished she could stay and revel in this feeling. How strange at the every end, the end she has yearned for for so long, she finds herself wishing for just a few more seconds. As she tells Stephen, as much to herself, she is stretching each moment into a thousand, just to enjoy it as much as she can.

She can feel the great beyond calling, can see it just beyond everything which is front of her. It's time to begin a new adventure. Perhaps, it would not be so bad to move on after all. Without even being aware of, she feels herself floating her away from Stephen, the earth, everything

She releases herself. It's finally over. She is finally free.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I will admit, I almost wish that The Ancient One had survived the movie. Ant Man proved that you didn't need to kill off the mentor character of the hero to make a good story, and I feel that there could have been so many potential stories with The Ancient One living and continuing to teach Stephen. But, that is what fan fiction is for.
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Please let me know what you thought.


End file.
